Posted March 26, 2008 by Zak Patten
If enough NBA owners vote in favor of it on April 18, the Seattle SuperSonics will be moving to Oklahoma City. This got me wondering: Why would a professional sports team leave the Emerald City in favor of the Sooner state?
According to league commissioner David Stern, the Sonics are going because the city of Seattle won't pony up the funds necessary to build a new arena. I'm thinking that's not all there is to it. Here are a few alternative theories:
5. Players sick of smelly salmon jerky locker-room snacks.
4. Team tired of being asked for directions to Kurt Cobain's house.
3. Players prefer dust-bowl peace and quiet...
...to lame-ass view of Mt. Rainier.
2. Rookie star Kevin Durant's shot has been way off due to excessive pregame coffee consumption.
And the number-one reason the team is leaving Seattle? Do you even have to ask? Blame It On The Rain!
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