Posted June 4, 2009 by Nicki Krawczyk
I tried a gentle warning. Critics scoffed, even laughed. But things aren’t so funny now, are they? No, they’re certainly not—not now that Alaska is in cahoots with Fiji and well on its way to world domination!
So, last week, I let you in on Alaska and Hawaii’s Conspiracy to Bring Down the United States. This week, an astute colleague alerted me to another development in the story. Fiji-based Air Pacific has just entered into a codesharing deal with Alaska Airlines that will allow Air Pacific customers to book Alaska-operated flights between Vancouver and L.A. under an Air Pacific flight number.
A codesharing deal? What could possibly sound more underhanded and nefarious? Let’s see, where have we heard of codesharing before…oh, gee, I don’t know, maybe: Double agents who “share” code with evil organizations to bring the world to its knees! I’ve seen Quantum of Solace, I know how sneaky the underworld can get.
Alaska is obviously enlisting as many small island chains as possible to create a web of bases to surround and conquer the United States. With the addition of Fiji to the Alaska-Hawaii alliance, they have successfully created an Evil Barrier slicing the Pacific Ocean in half. And when the United States is under attack and they call for help from Japan, just what do you think will happen?
United States: “Japan! Help! Alaska and its evil cohorts are invading our shores! Send reinforcements!”
Japan: “We’d love to help, but we can’t get to you—someone has created an Evil Barrier!”
And one Evil Barrier will certainly lead to another until the U.S. is completely surrounded by a Loop of Iniquity and Malevolence. Friends, this Alaska situation is dire. Today’s airline deals could be tomorrow’s road to ruin! Which nation, territory, or even state will be the next to fall under Alaska’s wicked spell? Just hope that it’s not yours.