Posted June 4, 2009 by Nicki Krawczyk
I tried a gentle warning. Critics scoffed, even laughed. But things aren’t so funny now, are they? No, they’re certainly not—not now that Alaska is in cahoots with Fiji and well on its way to world domination!
So, last week, I let you in on Alaska and Hawaii’s Conspiracy to Bring Down the United States. This week, an astute colleague alerted me to another development in the story. Fiji-based Air Pacific has just entered into a codesharing deal with Alaska Airlines that will allow Air Pacific customers to book Alaska-operated flights between Vancouver and L.A. under an Air Pacific flight number.
A codesharing deal? What could possibly sound more underhanded and nefarious? Let’s see, where have we heard of codesharing before…oh, gee, I don’t know, maybe: Double agents who “share” code with evil organizations to bring the world to its knees! I’ve seen Quantum of Solace, I know how sneaky the underworld can get.
Alaska is obviously enlisting as many small island chains as possible to create a web of bases to surround and conquer the United States. With the addition of Fiji to the Alaska-Hawaii alliance, they have successfully created an Evil Barrier slicing the Pacific Ocean in half. And when the United States is under attack and they call for help from Japan, just what do you think will happen?
United States: “Japan! Help! Alaska and its evil cohorts are invading our shores! Send reinforcements!”
Japan: “We’d love to help, but we can’t get to you—someone has created an Evil Barrier!”
And one Evil Barrier will certainly lead to another until the U.S. is completely surrounded by a Loop of Iniquity and Malevolence. Friends, this Alaska situation is dire. Today’s airline deals could be tomorrow’s road to ruin! Which nation, territory, or even state will be the next to fall under Alaska’s wicked spell? Just hope that it’s not yours.
(Photo: www.nomad4ever.com)
Posted May 28, 2009 by Nicki Krawczyk
Okay, get this: Alaska Airlines is adding service from Oakland, California to Kahului, Hawaii and Oakland and Kona beginning in November, plus expanding service between Seattle and Honolulu. Suspicious, wouldn’t you say? Alaska and Hawaii, two states who, heretofore, have never done much fraternizing are all of a sudden flying back and forth by way of California.
Coincidence? I think not. It’s blatant collusion. I propose to you: “Alaska and Hawaii’s Conspiracy to Gang Up on the Mainland” Fact: People in Alaska and Hawaii hate it when tourists go there and say things like “We’re from the U.S.” as if Alaskans and Hawaiians aren’t, too. Fact: Alaska and Hawaii were the last two states added to the union and, as such, missed out on historical moments like the launching of both fruit flies and mice into space as well as the invention of M&M's. Fact: Alaska and Hawaii are the farthest states away from Washington, D. C. and, as such, their representatives have to travel a really long time to get there and undoubtedly miss out on all kinds of congressional parties because of jet lag. Conclusion: Alaska and Hawaii are probably hopping mad and ready to take out their vengeance on the mainland.
And now, now, it appears that we've got all kinds of mingling and moving and perhaps even rampant skullduggery going on between Alaska and Hawaii by way of Alaska Airlines. There’s something big going on, people—I recommend you keep your eyes open and your mouths shut. Sure, this could end up being a nice little weekend getaways route for the people of California and a pleasant jaunt to paradise on a nice airline…until Alaska and Hawaii unleash their nefarious plans. You heard it here first. And you’ve been warned.
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