Alaska Airlines News
Posted June 4, 2009 by Nicki Krawczyk
I tried a gentle warning. Critics scoffed, even laughed. But things aren’t so funny now, are they? No, they’re certainly not—not now that Alaska is in cahoots with Fiji and well on its way to world domination!
So, last week, I let you in on Alaska and Hawaii’s Conspiracy to Bring Down the United States. This week, an astute colleague alerted me to another development in the story. Fiji-based Air Pacific has just entered into a codesharing deal with Alaska Airlines that will allow Air Pacific customers to book Alaska-operated flights between Vancouver and L.A. under an Air Pacific flight number.
A codesharing deal? What could possibly sound more underhanded and nefarious? Let’s see, where have we heard of codesharing before…oh, gee, I don’t know, maybe: Double agents who “share” code with evil organizations to bring the world to its knees! I’ve seen Quantum of Solace, I know how sneaky the underworld can get.
Alaska is obviously enlisting as many small island chains as possible to create a web of bases to surround and conquer the United States. With the addition of Fiji to the Alaska-Hawaii alliance, they have successfully created an Evil Barrier slicing the Pacific Ocean in half. And when the United States is under attack and they call for help from Japan, just what do you think will happen?
United States: “Japan! Help! Alaska and its evil cohorts are invading our shores! Send reinforcements!”
Japan: “We’d love to help, but we can’t get to you—someone has created an Evil Barrier!”
And one Evil Barrier will certainly lead to another until the U.S. is completely surrounded by a Loop of Iniquity and Malevolence. Friends, this Alaska situation is dire. Today’s airline deals could be tomorrow’s road to ruin! Which nation, territory, or even state will be the next to fall under Alaska’s wicked spell? Just hope that it’s not yours.
Posted May 28, 2009 by Nicki Krawczyk
Okay, get this: Alaska Airlines is adding service from Oakland, California to Kahului, Hawaii and Oakland and Kona beginning in November, plus expanding service between Seattle and Honolulu. Suspicious, wouldn’t you say? Alaska and Hawaii, two states who, heretofore, have never done much fraternizing are all of a sudden flying back and forth by way of California.
Coincidence? I think not. It’s blatant collusion. I propose to you: “Alaska and Hawaii’s Conspiracy to Gang Up on the Mainland” Fact: People in Alaska and Hawaii hate it when tourists go there and say things like “We’re from the U.S.” as if Alaskans and Hawaiians aren’t, too. Fact: Alaska and Hawaii were the last two states added to the union and, as such, missed out on historical moments like the launching of both fruit flies and mice into space as well as the invention of M&M's. Fact: Alaska and Hawaii are the farthest states away from Washington, D. C. and, as such, their representatives have to travel a really long time to get there and undoubtedly miss out on all kinds of congressional parties because of jet lag. Conclusion: Alaska and Hawaii are probably hopping mad and ready to take out their vengeance on the mainland.
And now, now, it appears that we've got all kinds of mingling and moving and perhaps even rampant skullduggery going on between Alaska and Hawaii by way of Alaska Airlines. There’s something big going on, people—I recommend you keep your eyes open and your mouths shut. Sure, this could end up being a nice little weekend getaways route for the people of California and a pleasant jaunt to paradise on a nice airline…until Alaska and Hawaii unleash their nefarious plans. You heard it here first. And you’ve been warned.
Posted May 5, 2009 by Carl Unger
Alaska Airlines' planes have all been stripped of their pillows and blankets as a way to combat the flu outbreak. So, presumably for as long as H1N1 is stirring up trouble, you won't find these amenities on Alaska.
Alaska may be the first airline to pull its pillows and blankets due to the flu, but it's hardly the first airline to do so in the past few months. JetBlue started charging passengers for pillows and blankets last summer, and US Airways did the same earlier this year. In both those cases, passengers were happy. After all, those pillows were kind of gross, right? I mean, how often were they sanitized?
It's that exact sense of ickiness that's behind Alaska's decision, albeit with the added and somewhat more real threat of a widespread flu outbreak.
Alaska will also complete a thorough cleaning and disinfecting of its planes overnight. Flight attendants will use a "virucidal" sanitizer to wipe out any traces of viruses that may be left behind. Aircraft arriving from Mexico will also receive an extra cleaning before the next group of passengers boards.
Posted December 24, 2008 by Zak Patten
'Tis the season for delays, storm-caused cancelations, capacity cuts, and a poor economy that makes "normal" airfares feel like extravagances. But Instead of being a griping Grinch, I'm thinking Christmas Eve is the perfect day to spread some good cheer about travel. So read on for some of this year's best gifts, from U.S. airlines to passengers like you and me.
First off is everyone's favorite carrier from the frozen north (maybe they have an in with Santa?). Alaska Airlines is full of charitable goodwill, donating more than 80,000 lbs. of food to food banks in Seattle and Portland (Oregon) this year.
Further south, American and Continental are doing something nice for their tech-loving passengers by offering paperless boarding passes. What's a paperless boarding pass, you ask? It's a bar code sent to your mobile phone or PDA that is simply scanned at check-in. Just don't lose that phone!
Those among you who actually want to go somewhere on one of these airlines may appreciate Delta's gift of new routes. The Atlanta-based airline will be flying to Australia and Brazil, as well as the island of Tobago in 2009. Happy New Year!
JetBlue is paying special attention to the good little boys and girls of Boston (where I'm writing this entry) in the form of lots of new daily flights. With American also in the giving spirit, Beantown will soon have more connections to domestic cities including Charlotte, Chicago, Dallas, and St. Louis. New flights to London and Paris are also on order.
Last, but certainly not least, Southwest is giving perhaps the greatest gift of all: nothing. This past year may one day be known as the "Year of the Airline Fee," but it won't be because of Southwest, which has still not instituted any new baggage fees in 2008. If you happen to be flying the LUV airline this Christmas, that means you can pack all those presents in your suitcase … for free.
And so the weather outside may be frightful, but that's no reason to say "Bah, humbug!" this holiday season. You've read my list of U.S. airlines' top holiday gifts. What have I missed? Please leave a comment below and let me know. And to all a good night!
(Photo: Cow's Life)
Posted February 26, 2008 by Heather Gilbert
Quick, when I say “fashion,” what do you think of? Mr. Giorgio Armani? Marc Jacobs? Icons like Grace Kelly and Katherine Hepburn? Flight attendants? Umm, what? The navy polyester-clad crew who dutifully bring us Diet Cokes and show us how to strap on oxygen masks? I don’t think so. Well, The Museum of Flight is looking to change that. Their new exhibit, Style in the Aisle: The History of Fashion in Flight, features flight attendant uniforms from the 1930s to the 1990s. And let me tell you, the goods are hot. For example, when Alaska Airlines introduced charter service to Siberia in 1970, the flight attendants were in Cossack costumes (think big furry hats). And when Hughes Airwest flew to Mexico, you were guaranteed to have a flight attendant decked out in a cheery pastel poncho (and knee-high boots, for whatever that’s worth). Not to mention that Emilio Pucci designed all the unis for Braniff. Ah the days of flying as a glamorous endeavor. If only we still had it as good!
Posted February 22, 2008 by Zak Patten
With the phenomenon of Second Life and other virtual worlds now
mainstream, it was only a matter of time before an airline created an online avatar
of its own.
Enter Jenn, Alaska Airlines' virtual assistant, the
first of her kind (species?) to "live" on a U.S. airline's website. I checked
in with Jenn to see if she was, you know, cool. I feared she might be stiff and
robotic (not to mention criminally unhelpful) like my electric company's
virtual phone assistant.
The big difference between the two of them is that Jenn's
the only "person" you'll find on Alaska's website, while Electric
Company Lady is a gatekeeper for the live humans who might actually be helpful
to people like me. Given this reality, I'll take Jenn any day. She may not be
animated, but her face is pleasant enough, if immobile. And she seems like she
genuinely wants to help. I typed in several sample questions and she instantly
typed back responses, and followed up by reading them to me in her always perky
Oh, and Jenn always maintains her professional demeanor,
even when you throw her a curveball like, "Where do you live?" Her
reply: "Right now, it appears I live with you…but don't worry, I won't
overstay my welcome! How can I help you?"
I'm not sure she's ready to mix it up with the residents of
Second Life, but if Jenn represents the future of airline customer service,
we're in good hands.