Okay, get this: Alaska Airlines is adding service from Oakland, California to Kahului, Hawaii and Oakland and Kona beginning in November, plus expanding service between Seattle and Honolulu. Suspicious, wouldn’t you say? Alaska and Hawaii, two states who, heretofore, have never done much fraternizing are all of a sudden flying back and forth by way of California.
Coincidence? I think not. It’s blatant collusion. I propose to you: “Alaska and Hawaii’s Conspiracy to Gang Up on the Mainland” Fact: People in Alaska and Hawaii hate it when tourists go there and say things like “We’re from the U.S.” as if Alaskans and Hawaiians aren’t, too. Fact: Alaska and Hawaii were the last two states added to the union and, as such, missed out on historical moments like the launching of both fruit flies and mice into space as well as the invention of M&M's. Fact: Alaska and Hawaii are the farthest states away from Washington, D. C. and, as such, their representatives have to travel a really long time to get there and undoubtedly miss out on all kinds of congressional parties because of jet lag. Conclusion: Alaska and Hawaii are probably hopping mad and ready to take out their vengeance on the mainland.
And now, now, it appears that we've got all kinds of mingling and moving and perhaps even rampant skullduggery going on between Alaska and Hawaii by way of Alaska Airlines. There’s something big going on, people—I recommend you keep your eyes open and your mouths shut. Sure, this could end up being a nice little weekend getaways route for the people of California and a pleasant jaunt to paradise on a nice airline…until Alaska and Hawaii unleash their nefarious plans. You heard it here first. And you’ve been warned.
In a city known for its gloomy weather, you'll also find an intense passion for life exemplified by the bounty of local produce at Seattle's Pike Place Market. It's amazing how this place that began with an argument over the price of onions has become one of Seattle's top attractions, thriving for nearly 100 years. And it's the only spot we know of where you can dart among flying fish, dote on a brass pig, and gain 20 pounds by inhaling the aromas alone.
Eat The Crumpet Shop: The British may have invented the crumpet, but this little Pacific-Northwest shop at Pike Place Market has perfected it. Each day, crumpets—airy and crisp, still warm from the oven—are smothered in mounds of whatever you fancy, for only about $5. The ricotta cheese and gooseberry jam is a favorite, but some of the other savories like parmesan, tomato, and pesto can tug at your mid-afternoon heartstrings. Choose a nice cup of tea for dipping, and you'll be transported back to jolly old England while taking in the sea air of Seattle.
Stay The Moore Hotel: Most people consider it good luck to find a downtown hotel for less than you'd spend on an airport hotel. It's not luck. It's about knowing where to look. Just two blocks from Pike Place Market, in Seattle's bustling downtown area, you'll find the Moore Hotel, which has shared the same building as the historical Moore Theatre since 1907. Be sure to take in a dance performance or a concert before hitting the sack. Rooms start at $59 (European style), and they are about as cozy as a convent, in the most charming way, of course.
Play Pike Place Fish Market: No, your nonfat mocha Frappucino wasn't spiked; you really did just see a salmon soar through the air and land lovingly in the arms of a shouting man wearing an orange jumpsuit. This daily routine has become quite a spectacle at the Market, where these well-trained fishmongers rarely miss a beat. The entertaining show doesn't cost a thing, plus you can snack on samples of salmon jerky while you watch.
If enough NBA owners vote in favor of it on April 18, the Seattle SuperSonics will be moving to Oklahoma City. This got me wondering: Why would a professional sports team leave the Emerald City in favor of the Sooner state?
According to league commissioner David Stern, the Sonics are going because the city of Seattle won't pony up the funds necessary to build a new arena. I'm thinking that's not all there is to it. Here are a few alternative theories:
5. Players sick of smelly salmon jerky locker-room snacks.
4. Team tired of being asked for directions to Kurt Cobain's house.
3. Players prefer dust-bowl peace and quiet...
...to lame-ass view of Mt. Rainier.
2. Rookie star Kevin Durant's shot has been way off due to excessive pregame coffee consumption.
And the number-one reason the team is leaving Seattle? Do you even have to ask? Blame It On The Rain!
Quick, when I say “fashion,” what do you think of? Mr. Giorgio Armani? Marc Jacobs? Icons like Grace Kelly and Katherine Hepburn? Flight attendants? Umm, what? The navy polyester-clad crew who dutifully bring us Diet Cokes and show us how to strap on oxygen masks? I don’t think so. Well, The Museum of Flight is looking to change that. Their new exhibit, Style in the Aisle: The History of Fashion in Flight, features flight attendant uniforms from the 1930s to the 1990s. And let me tell you, the goods are hot. For example, when Alaska Airlines introduced charter service to Siberia in 1970, the flight attendants were in Cossack costumes (think big furry hats). And when Hughes Airwest flew to Mexico, you were guaranteed to have a flight attendant decked out in a cheery pastel poncho (and knee-high boots, for whatever that’s worth). Not to mention that Emilio Pucci designed all the unis for Braniff. Ah the days of flying as a glamorous endeavor. If only we still had it as good!